=><=
# Are you ready to begin your ''[[SPACE CRUZ!?->Dark]]'' <h1>
#Dark.<h2>
You resist the struggle to consciousness.
You seem to be suffering from what feels like the worst hangover you've ever had... by 10 orders of magnitude.
You open your eyes.
Wherever the hell you are, it's still dark.
The room spins, though you can't see it spinning.
As you struggle through //''the spins''// and the //''headache from Satan''//, you switch on the light in your [[room->The Morning]].
#The Morning.<h2>
The light comes on. You're in your dorm room at UCSC.
As you stumble out of bed, and shuffle into the bathroom, you take a bleary-eyed, skeptical look into the mirror.
Look at your reflection.
Are you a (link: "dude?")[(set: $gender to "M")(goto: "Leave the House")] Or a (link: "chick?")[(set: $gender to "F")(goto: "Leave the House")]
After a quick shower, you step out the door of your dorm, and you decide to head
(link: "to downtown Santa Cruz for a coffee")[(set: $major to "art")(goto: "Downtown")].
(link: "to the S&E Library to study")[(set: $major to "engineering")(goto: "SELibrary")].
(link: "out for a hike in the upper campus forest")[(set: $major to "mycology")(goto: "Hike")].
#Downtown Santa Cruz.<h2>
(set: $major to "Art")
As you step off the Number 16 Bus at the Santa Cruz Metro Transit Center, a homeless man with a crazy look in his eye runs up to you.
He grabs you by the arm.
In an agitated voice, somewhere between a choke and a scream, he wildly looks you straight in the eyes and babbles "It's you!! They'll be here soon! And you're just the the ''Avant-Garde Hipster Artist'' type the Squax are looking for. They need a portrait done of the crew!"
You look around, no one at the bus station seems to notice this nutter yelling at you.
You jerk your arm away, mumbling "Fuck off, looney-tunes!" and start walking purposefully toward the [[Coffee Shop]].
#Science and Engineering Library.<h2>
(set: $major to "Engineering")
You sit down in one of the large study rooms at the Library. You pull out your ''Electrical Engineering'' textbook and notes, and soon become deeply engrossed in [[Circuit Diagrams]].
#Upper Campus Trails.<h2>
(set: $major to "Mycology")
The sun is shining, the day after the first heavy rain of the year. It's a beautiful day, the smell of damp //petrichor// wafting up from the loam of the Redwood Forest floor.
The truth is, you have a motive on this hike. It rained yesterday, all night, and into the early morning. The perfect time to hunt some mushrooms. You see, you're a graduate student studying ''Mycology''. You're an expert on the 'shrooms, and it's the best day of the year to find some tasty fungus. And perhaps a few of the magical variety, for the camping trip next weekend.
As you wander through the forest, you inspect the undergrowth at the base of the [[Redwoods]].
#Coffee Shop.<h2>
You enter the most //indie// coffee shop in town (and this is Santa Cruz, it's like a //hipster arms race// when it comes to coffee.
Still rattled by the crazy dude, wondering what the shit he was talking about, you order a "Large soy milk caffe marocchino, three shots."
You pick up a newspaper as you wait for your fancy seven dollar cuppa joe, trying to distract your mind from going back to what that delusional bum said, but it's no use.
The barista calls your name.
You pick up your pretentious espresso drink, and walk [[out the door->Outdoor Table]].
# Circuits.<h2>
As you delve deeper into your study, the Library around you fades.
The logic diagram you are looking at is full of NANDs and NOTs, XORs and XNORs.
The diagrams begin to swirl around the page, logic gates making fractally recursive geometric shapes. You begin to enter a trance.
Somewhere off in the distance, you hear squeaky little high pitched voices say ^^//He's perfect. Genius engineer. Let's ''[UNTRANSLATABLE]'' him and maybe we can get the anti-grav engines on this piece of ''fleeorg'' working properly again.//^^
A sudden flash of extraordinary pain.
In an instant, the world around you becomes nothing but an //immenseley bright white [[light->Transporter Room]]//.
#Redwoods.<h2>
You breathe in deep. The wet Redwood smells so good.
You look up.
You stand in awe of these tremendously tall ancient giants. The tallest in the world.
Looking at the bark of a few trees, you see some edible oyster mushrooms, and pick them off into your collection bag. Maybe you'll make steak with onions and mushrooms for dinner tonight.
Inspecting closely the ground around the base of a particularly thick trunked redwood, you notice just what you didn't expect. A lovely bonus. [[Psilocybe Semilanceata]].
#Cafe Exterior.<h2>
You sit down at a table outside the shop.
You look at your phone and check Facebook, still attempting to distract yourself from drifting to the information contained in the hobo's message, to no avail.
You begin to go over what he said in your thoughts.
//He may have been delusional, but he sure seemed sincere.//
//Who'll be here soon?//
//The fuck are 'the Squax'?//
//Sounds like some sorta aliens. Not that I believe in UFOs, but are aliens in their flying saucers really looking for ''cheap group portraits painted by undergraduate art students??''//
Shaking your head, you take a few sips of your fancy coffee.
Halfway through the cup, you start to feel woozy.
As you finish the cup, you begin to fall off your chair.
There's a nanosecond of exquisite pain, and a bright [[flash->Transporter Room]].
#Dark.<h2>
You're fully awake now
But there's no noticeable difference between your eyes being open in this perfect black darkness, and shut as tightly as they can shut.
Having gone over the events of the day in your head, you are utterly confused.
//Is there a fucking light switch in here?//
[[''"HELLO!?"''->Dark3]] you yell.
#Psychonaut.<h2>
There are quite a few of them. Maybe thirty. These magical toadstools. The shortcut to higher consciousness, at least for a few hours.
You collect most of them, but //shit//, it's the weekend and you're out in the forest on a beautiful day.
You pop four in your mouth, and begin to chew.
You continue on your hike.
After awhile, you realize there was something you were doing out here, a mission of sorts, but you can't remember for the life of you what it is.
The humus of the forest floor, and the pineneedles begin to pulse.
You hear giggling on the wind.
Suddenly, a moment of excruciating pain. The world is consumed in a bright [[flash->Transporter Room]].
The blinding rays devour all that is in your view
and also all that is not in your view.
As the universe dissipates and disintegrates into pure, utterly boring, white light, it feels as if every tangible point in your body is being stretched into a different galaxy.
A momentary moment of momentlessness passes as you cross the barrier of material dimension.
The next thing you know, things are back to relative normality, as you lay in a room in the [[dark->decently more coherent moment]].
A decently more coherent moment passes and suddently you realize:
[[Where the hell am I? ->Dark2]]
[[Why am I so hungry? -> food dream]]
[[I forgot to feed the dog. -> puppy dream]]
Mountains of icecream and floating rib-eye steaks drift on by your over-active imagination.
A deep longing for your deceased grandmother's mac-n-cheese compells a single tear to be shed.
[[Alas, no food is to be found here ->Dark2]]
Terrible, terrible images encroach your psyche of poor Pedro the Pup barking and crying for kibblets, and promptly not receiving any.
Then you make something up to rationalize why Pedro will be okay, (Pedro will be okay) and you
[[direct your mind to more important matters ->Dark2]]
(if: $gender is "F")[(replace: "him")[her]]
The room you are in seems to be some sort of Transport bay room.
Various geometrical forms of alien cargo containers lie around next to what appears to be a teleportation platform.
(unless: $status is "initiated")[Standing before you are two green humanoids. Not so much the (colour: green)[//little green men//] type, but more akin to space-''ogres''.
One of them shouts,
"Hey newb! You are the one the Great One needs!
Follow me, new-comer, and meet our Great Captain."
You think you hear enthusiasm in its voice.
The other just stares at you like you are the Easter Bunny.
[[Go with them.->Bridge]]
[[Resist.->Transport Scuffle]]]
(if: $status is "initiated")[
[[Return to Bridge->Bridge]]
]
You hear high pitched voices say something in a language you can't understand. It's unlike any human language you've ever heard. All clicks and glottal stops.
Yet somehow, internally, in your mind, you //can// understand them.
"//Fleeorgshits//, *&Squamp, you were supposed to sedate him for the matter transferrance process!!"
"Check the //cloacal discharge// coming out of your mouth, %&Squeenk! That is no way to address your superior officer!"
"Noted, sir. Well, as long as this pink carbon flesh-sac is awake..."
//''WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON?''// your mind screams.
There's a loud buzz, and after so long in darkness, the [[sudden light in the room is excruciatingly painful->Transport2]]
"Greetings young human!" bellows a figure donned in purple and silver robes.
"I am Captain Squax and this is my crew. We have traveled space and time, trying to survive this harsh galaxy without turning to piracy or mercenary work as most space dwellers tend to do."
"Our people would like to apologize to you for the rough encounter. We have protocols for these types of things but nobody really follows those nowadays...."
(link: "I just want to know why I am here!")[
Our ship is in dire need of assistance. We've tracked you down with our widespread intelligence-extracting nano-drones in order to find the [[perfect candidate->candidate]].
]
[[YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!->Scuffle2]]
Adrenaline pumping.
|bag>[Backpack] intact.
[[Fiddle with teleporter->nope1]]
[[Make a run for it->nope2]]
(click: ?bag)[You equip your sharpest pencil (set: $weapon to "pencil")]
You rush towards what looks to be a teleporter control panel.
It is full of buttons and switches and levers.
No labels.
[Press buttons at random.]<button|
(click: ?button)[Funny whirring noises and then nothing. You have no idea where to begin. The aliens are watching.]
(link: "Give up")[
[[Dragged to the Bridge->Bridge]]
]
You run at full speed towards the aliens.
One turns around and trips you.
(if: $weapon is "pencil")[
You fall on your pencil [[face-first->pencil death]].
]
(else:)[
[[Dragged to the Bridge->Bridge]]
]
You slowly die as blood oozes from your eye-socket.
There are mysterious powers beyond your worldly web of consciousness.
I cannot expect you to understand these matters,
however you may be able to minutely comprehend if you have studied [[//religion//->art2]].
We lost our Chief Engineer a few galactic years ago.
There was an [accident]<accident|(click: ?accident)[ with a lightning storm and a matter transferrance beam.]
Our ship's ''anti-grav drive'' in on the fritz.
Maybe you could take a [[look at it->eng2]]?
You follow the botanist alien--Squapple--down the halls of the ship.
"We've had a lot of trouble since the fungus growing machines stopped working properly. Look how skinny I'm getting!"
You look at the alien. He looks pretty pudgy to you.
"I think you've got awhile until you starve" you mumble.
"What was that?" asks Squapple
"Nothing."
Squapple presses a button on the wall, and you enter [[the Nursery->myc2]].
As you approach the captain to tell him the good news...
###[[CRASH->crumble]]<h3>
##[[CRUMBLE->crimson]]<h2>
(if: $major is 0)[(set: $major to "Art")]
(if: $major is "Art")[
Our dynasty is dwindling. Our bloodline is unique and endangered. These things we know.
It is said the heritage we hold carries with it certain gifts of
[[''Special knowledge.''->art1]]
and
[[''Special power.''->art1]]
]
(if: $major is "Engineering")[
To put it simply, without too much technical speak, our ''anti-grav engine'' has been malfunctioning. Without it, we cannot effeciently enter hyperspace travel. Your knowledge of [[engineering->eng1]] is crucial to us.
]
(if: $major is "Mycology")[
Well, my shroomy friend, our race has survived off of growing space mushrooms for millenia. However, the neo-liberal developments in our culture over the past hundred or so years have slowly stripped us of the traditional knowledge we once had. We need desperate assistance with our [[food supply->myc1]].
]
Slightly to your right, a wall of the alien spaceship explodes. A hole is formed just large enough for a red vessel, enscribed with the letters ''CCCP'', to come [[crashing through->oh yeah]].
(link: "crimson scintillations")[
(colour: red)[#//OHH YEAHHH!//<h1>]
you hear shouted in plain English, as seven or eight figures protrude from the recently-impacted red space vessel.
[[OK..->end]]
]
"Lets sack all they've got!"
"Leave nothing behind!"
"We'll leave these abominations with a nice present... that goes BOOM!"
[[The racist human space pirates notice you.->end2]]
"Ya got two options, Squirt. Join our side, or die."
bellows the human team captain.
The alien captain interjects,
"Earthling, you have helped us in our time of need and we wish to help you in return. But if you join these men, you will lead a //path of destruction//."
[[Follow the saccharoidal red pirate humans.->pirates]]
[[Follow the wizardly extra-terrestrials.->wizards]]
[[Choose not to decide.->lonewolf]]
We need you, the artist, to preserve what you can of our clan in the form of a [[group portrait->art3]]. This will then be sent through our.. lets just call them [void channels]<void|. Sadly I can't give you any human money, but I can offer [exposure]<expos|.
(click: ?void)[I couldn't give you a very good explanation in a way you would understand. Ask Beebs about that.]
(click: ?expos)[
You say you don't normally work for exposure?
[Exposure]<expos2| is all you need!
]
(click: ?expos2)[
You mean societal exposure? No way! Beebs can tell you more.
I'm just the quest giver.
]
I'm sorry I could not tell you more. The group portrait will be sufficient to gather the elders. The elders will have your painting supplies.
In order to get off this ship and save your race and planet from ultimate doom (not by us of course),
You must first gather the following Squax:
''Beebs'' - who hangs around the ritual room
''Pliny'' - always at the engine room tinkering
''Screeork'' - lingers around. check the kitchen
I would give you a map, but we have constructed sufficient navigatory signage to aide you.
Return with all three ~~pokemon~~ elders.
[[Good Luck, friend!->art4]]
The walls are made of wirey terminals and lighting beeps.
You see a sign that reads
''"EXIT TO RITUAL ROOM"''.
//but you are pretty certain it is supposed to say...
"ALIENS HAVE SIGNS IN ENGLISH TOO? WHAT NEXT?"...//
So you instinctively walk through the passageway towards the ritual room to look for [[Beebs->art5]].
There are several Squax in this ritual room, but you are looking for the elder Squax.
The elder Squax sees you first.
"Heyyy yo there Bubba Bubbs! I can't wait to get my portrait taken! I was told I am to go with the you."
[Can you tell me more about this whole thing?]<void|
(click: ?void)[Well you see. Us elder Squax have the ability to see into the dimensions of constructed reality, and predict the outcome of events with given parameters. We can also send things into what we call the Void in order to please the interdimensional hyper-beings which determine the fate of peoples, most notably in the field of fertility. Offerings of art of old Squax drawn by undergraduate college students tends to be a reliable source of //exposure// which is sort of what we call divine favor. Boy that was a mouthful.]
[[Yes. Do you know where I can find the next two elder Squax?->art6]]
Beebs Laughs and Roars
"Ahahahaha. I have every intention of taking up your time with riddles and games such to be as hilarious as alienly possible. But being the sage of the ship, predicting the future is my first priority - and I see that we do not have much time.
This is why I have the other Squax right here in my |pocket>[pocket]."
(click: ?pocket)[
"Yes. In my pocket. Here, take them. You will need them."
//he hands you a green orb and a red orb//
(link: "take")[As you put the orbs into your hand, a third appears, and Beebs is no longer standing before you.
[[Create Portrait!->art7]]
]
]
A rush of intuition you have felt only a few sparse times in your life.
Paper in one hand.
Pencil in the other.
You draw those orbs. Three sexy circles.
(link: "submit group portrait")[
the void happily munches on the picture you just drew
[[Return to Captain->ending]]]
"I knew you'd make the right choice." snarled the pirate captain as he tosses you a plasma handgun.
You try to use it, and it explodes in your face and now you don't have a face.
You see that it is obvious to go with the noble space ogre-mages.
Three colorful orbs float into the room and morph into three exquisitely dressed Squax. They begin [[chanting->wiz2]] consisted of repeated clicks and glottal stops. A wall of magical energy protects them during the process.
(link: "Although you have chosen not to decide, you have still made a choice.")[
(link: "You stand and stare.
You're so aware.")[
plasma handguns
shots go down
You drop into a pubu
as the bodies around you hit the floor
leaping
like [[sith master JarJar->lw2]]
]
]
(link:"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
THE SEAL IS BROKEN!")[The Slugforce compells you.
You light a smoke bomb looted from the fallen, and toss it amidst the pirates. Except you manage to toss it under your leg mid-air and look really cool. All projectiles seem to miss you.
Your badassery is unmatched.
[[Nows the chance!->lw3]]
]
A tingling feeling hits your gut as all the Soviet era space fanaticism has finally come to fruition. This is the moment you have been training for all these years.
You straight up jack that spaceship when no one is looking, and fly out into space.
Freedom to float space forever unbothered by idiots.
There is a never-ending supply of sushi and beer and horror films in your new space habitat.
The room gets |dark>[Dark].
(click: ?dark)[
A faint purple circle appears in the middle of the room.
It begins to grow more and more clear, and you can make out a spinning pentagram.
[[//*click click knork knork screaw shworp*//->wiz3]]
]
''Holy shit theres a demon on this space ship.''
The demon eats up the space pirates one by one as they run around trying to escape its swift razor claws.
The Great Captain looks at you and [smiles]<smile|.
(click: ?smile)[
Congratulations little slug. With your help, our crew is happy again, and there are a few less space pirate assholes.
Also this demon shall fix global warming.
And you can go home
to your family, your friends, and your forest. ]
//Damn,// you think.
//Don't they know I'm just a student? Do the really think I can repair a technology that I was pretty sure the ''laws of physics disallowed'' until a few seconds ago?//
//Guess I'll find out [[soon enough->eng3]].//
You follow *&Squamperdink or whatever his name is for a few minutes through the halls of the ship.
It strikes you that if these aliens can't repair their own ship they're probably not too bright.
Maybe you can outsmart them and [[escape->escape]]?
Are you sure you want to keep [[escaping->spaced]]?
Or do you want to keep [[following the alien->eng4]], before he notices you're gone?
You find a promising door with lots of bright lights, readouts, and buttons.
Using your awesome engineering intuition, you figure out which button to opens it. (It's the big red one.)
You [[press the button->spaced2]].
The explosive decompression violently shoves you out the door.
As your eyes start to boil and your skin begins to freeze, you have a thought:
//''Fuck!'' That was the airlock. I guess this is it... at least the view is nice...//
Your vision begins to fade, and you're running out of breath, but the Earth sure looks pretty from up here...
You sneak back in step with the alien you were following.
He doesn't seem to notice you were gone.
It seems as though he kept blabbing on about something or other, more in love with his own voice than keeping track of you.
These aliens seem more and more human the more you get to know them.
Soon enough, the alien hits a door button, and you enter [[Main Engineering->eng5]].
You have to admit, this room is pretty impressive.
A giant sphere of //not-stuff// floats in the center of the room.
You guess (correctly) that the sphere is the reactor.
"Well, here we are." *&Squeenk says.
He points to the screens on the wall. "The manual for the engine is over there. I don't understand any of this stuff. Our ability to go anywhere is in your hands! So uh, can ya get to fixing?"
"Um, sure?" You reply.
"GREAT! Well, hop to it! I've got more important things to do. Toodles!" the alien says, and waddles out the door.
//Wow, you think. It's a wonder these guys ever got into space at all.//
You walk over and turn on the [[screens he pointed at->eng6]].
Interestingly enough, the manual on the screens is in English. Or whatever technomagic is translating their speech for you is also translating their text.
You begin to delve into the schematics of the drive system. Once again, just as you were right before you got abducted, you get lost in the circuits.
They're a bit more complicated this time, but they are understandable.
As a big picture image starts to congeal in your head of how the drive works, an epiphany dawns on you.
No way...
On a hunch, you walk around behind the screens and find a small, almost nonexistent button in the least likely of places.
You [[press it->eng7]].
The ship goes dark.
You sense that the big no-sphere ripples.
The lights come back up.
From the screens, you hear a series of beeps, and in small letters, one of them reads "Press F2 to enter SETUP".
//THE SHIP COMPUTER IS A PC? WHAT?//
Your face meets your palm. You can't take much more of this.
*&Squamp runs in, looking quite happy.
"The ship is suddenly running at full capacity, the drive diagnostics are looking cleaner than they have in a galactic rotation!"
"What did you do??"
Nonplussed, you tell him "I turned it off and on again."
You follow him [[back to the Bridge->ending]].
The room is large.
There are lights across the roof of the room.
Apart from the area you and Squapple are standing, which seems to be a sort of control room, the rest of the football field sized Nursery is basically a giant raised bed full of soil of some sort.
Squapple tells you "Well, I hope you can figure out the problem, cuz I sure can't! I don't think I was cut out to work with plants. Welp, see ya later!"
You start to respond, but realize you're probably better off without the incompetent alien.
You crawl over the low wall onto the dirt, and begin [[diagnosing the problem->myc3]].
You walk around the Nursery for quite awhile. Taking soil samples, digging to test the strength of the mycelium, collecting shrivelled, obviously struggling mushroom caps.
You squint up at the lights.
The soil seems dry.
You head back over to the [[control room->myc4]].
You've got a hunch.
You walk over to the screens.
Tapping on the keyboard, they light up. Surprisingly (though few things should surprise you at this point), the text is in English. Or whatever the Ship is doing to hack your brain to provide translation does its job really well.
You bring up charts of the diurnal cycle, the watering schedule, and the light intensity.
It seems your [[hunch->myc5]] might be correct.
Delving deeper, you find the Nursery control templates.
You switch the control setting from "leafy greens" to "fungi".
//Are these aliens really this dumb? Jesus Christ.//
You call Squapple on the communicator relay.
"Hey, uh, Squapple? I think I fixed the problem."
He replies "Good work, human! Meet me back at the bridge!"
You [[head for the Bridge->ending]].